Eloping with Family and Friends in Asheville, North Carolina

If you’re someone who loves the idea of eloping, but can’t imagine getting married without those special few people present, this post is for you!

The wedding industry has made it seem like you have 2 options: 1) Have a traditional wedding in a venue with hundreds of guests, sacrificing quality time with your partner. 2) Have an adventure elopement, sacrificing special moments with people that you can’t imagine getting married without. But you don’t have to choose between the two.

Eloping does not mean that you have to sacrifice time with the people you love, it actually means that you can spend quality time with the people that mean the most to you. Traditional weddings often times become so big that the couple only gets a few seconds to greet each guest and barely any quality-time with each other. If that doesn’t sound like fun to you, you’ve probably considered eloping instead. I’m here to assure you that eloping does not have to be alone, you can choose to elope with family and/or friends, and really soak up that time with each person. My favorite days as an elopement photographer have been the ones where the couple intentionally invites the people closest to them, and those guests are honored and excited to be there.

If you decide to go this route, I want to commend you for doing what feels right to you! It’s not an easy decision and you’ll likely face some adversity with certain people. I’ve guided many couples through the process of eloping with family and friends, and I’ve learned some things along the way! In this post, I’ve included ways to include guests, ways to spend time together as a couple, and things to consider when eloping with family in Asheville.

1. Choosing Who to Invite

So you decided it was time to ditch the long guest list (I don’t blame you!) but now you’re faced with the tough decision of who you’re going to narrow it down to. A lot of couples will invite “Immediate family only” which would include parents and siblings. If that works for you, that’s a great way to narrow it down! But that doesn’t work for every couple, because not every couple has a close relationship with their immediate family. So, instead of putting a label on your guest list, I’d recommend asking yourself these questions:

• Who are the people I would love to honor and appreciate during my wedding day?
• Who are the people that make me feel safe, understood, and loved?
• Who do I feel the most at home around?
• Who would ease the stress of my day and be over the moon excited to be there?

– and invite those people.

Then ask yourself these questions:

• Who could cause unwanted stress during my wedding day?

• Who would make me feel judged about my decision to elope?

• And who am I inviting just because I feel obligated to?

– and cross those guests off your list. There are ways to include these people in the next section. Now that you have your guest list narrowed down, keep reading for some ways you can include others.

2. Ways to Include Guests and Others

The wonderful thing about eloping is that you get to choose how your guests are involved throughout the day. For example, when I got married, I knew I wanted to get ready with just my Mom and sister, I didn’t want a revolving door of people coming in. It was key to keeping me calm and starting the day slowly. So instead, I told my close family that they could meet me in the lobby of our hotel on my way to head to the mountains, and then they’d be seeing me again later for the ceremony. It was really special to see their reactions and give everyone a hug as I made my way to the car. Maybe that resonates with you, or maybe you’d prefer to get ready with your spouse and wait to see your guests.

The possibilities are truly endless, so take time to envision your day and what each moment feels like. The list of ways to include your guests below can be customized to whatever feels right to you.

Ways to Include Guests in Your Elopement Day:

• Welcome party the night before your wedding
• Getting ready with someone you love
• Gifts for your loved ones
• First look with your family or friends
• Greeting guests as they arrive at your ceremony location
• Inviting your closest loved ones to your ceremony (many couples that choose to do this will share their vows privately before the ceremony)
• Ask someone special to officiate your ceremony
• Ring warming
• Read letters from loved ones who couldn’t be there
• Instead of exiting from your ceremony to the next part of your day, take time to hug your family and friends
• Ask someone you love to give a speech, or say a blessing/prayer over your marriage
• Ask 2 special people to sign your marriage license as witnesses
• Dinner and reception at a venue (you could invite additional guests to this)
• Intimate catered dinner at your Airbnb
• Group activity like a hike or visiting a special place together

Ways to Include Family Members that Aren’t Invited or Can’t Attend:

• Live stream your ceremony
• FaceTime/Skype loved ones after getting ready or from your ceremony location
• Ask loved ones to write you a letter to read on your wedding day
• Share your photos and elopement video with them
• Have a bigger celebration a few weeks or months later
• Plan an elopement weekend and involve your loved ones in other activities throughout the weekend. If you’re staying in Asheville, you could plan a brewery tour, tour of the Biltmore, group hike, visit Grandfather Mountain, plan a group brunch or dinner, etc. Morgan & Drew’s 3-Day elopement weekend is a great example of this!

Ways to Spend Quality-Time with Your Spouse when Eloping with Family:

• First look or getting ready together
• Share your vows privately after your first look (many of my couples have said that this was one of the best decisions they made for their day!)
• Share gifts or surprise your spouse with something special
• Spend the morning together for an adventure just the two of you, followed by an afternoon or evening ceremony with your guests
• Have a private ceremony followed by a celebration with your guests
• Schedule in a sunset hike before or after dinner for just the two of you
• Plan a private picnic or dinner
• Private first dance
• Visit one of your favorite places together (coffee shop, brewery, cocktail bar, park, etc.)

3. Planning your Day when Eloping with Family

Eloping with family or friends adds a few extra things to consider during the planning process:

• Guest Limits: Make sure you choose a location that allows additional guests. If your location requires a permit, they will likely have a guest limit. For example, the general rule for the Blue Ridge Parkway is 25 guests maximum, but there are a few exceptions for spots that cannot accommodate that many guests. The Pisgah National Forest does not require a permit for any event of less than 75 guests. Once you’ve confirmed that you are within the guest limit, make sure the area you plan on using for your ceremony has enough space for your guests to comfortably watch from.
• Accessibility: If you have older guests, or guests who cannot hike long distances, make sure to do thorough research on the length and difficulty of the trail you choose. AllTrails is a great resource for this! And if possible, I always recommend checking out locations in person before the big day.
• Preparing Your Guests: Make sure your guests are fully aware of the type of wedding you’re having! Most people have only ever been to traditional weddings, where they needed a nice dress with heels or suit with dress shoes. If your ceremony location is in the mountains, make sure everyone is prepared with the proper footwear, weather-related items (raincoat/ponchos, umbrellas, warm layers & hand warmers if there’s a chance it could be cold), first aid, snacks and water!
• Include time in your day for just the two of you: Don’t forget to schedule some time alone with your partner if you’re eloping with family. Look at some of the ideas in the second section!
• Photography: Look for a photographer that not only values you as a couple, but also values the people that you’ve intentionally chosen to be a part of your day. Your closest loved ones deserve to be documented too, so choose a photographer that will make sure to document the special moments between you and your guests. This is at the core of what I do, and why I specialize in elopements with guests. You can read more about my approach to documenting elopement days with family here!

Hey! I’m Erin. A small wedding and elopement photographer and planning expert in Asheville, North Carolina. If you’re ready to begin planning the perfect elopement day with your closest loved ones, you can read more about my services and eloping in Asheville here!