Eloping with Family and Friends

If you’re someone who loves the idea of eloping, but can’t imagine getting married without those special few people present, this post is for you!

Eloping does not mean that you have to sacrifice time with the people you love, it actually means that you can spend quality time with the people that mean the most to you! Traditional weddings often times become so big that the couple only gets a few seconds to say hi to each guest and barely any time with each other. If that doesn’t sound like fun to you, you’ve probably considered eloping instead. I’m here to assure you that eloping does not have to be alone, you can choose to elope with family and/or friends, and really soak up that time with each person. My favorite days as an elopement photographer have been the ones where the couple intentionally invites the people closest to them, and those guests are honored and excited to be there.

If you decide to go this route, I want to commend you for doing what feels right to you! It’s not an easy decision and you’ll likely face some adversity with certain people. I’ve guided many couples through the process of eloping with family and friends, and I’ve learned some things along the way! In this post, I’ve included some insight on how to handle the tricky situations that may arise so that you can elope with confidence.

1. Choosing Who to Invite

So you decided it was time to ditch the long guest list (I don’t blame you!) but now you’re faced with the tough decision of who you’re going to narrow it down to. A lot of couples will invite “Immediate family only” which would include parents and siblings. If that works for you, that’s a great way to narrow it down! But that doesn’t work for every couple, because not every couple has a close relationship with their immediate family. So, instead of putting a label like “Immediate Family Only” on your guest list, I’d recommend asking yourself these questions:

• Who are the people that make me feel safe, understood, and loved?

• Who do I feel the most at home around?

• Who would ease the stress of my day and be over the moon excited to be there?

– and invite those people.

Then ask yourself these questions:

• Who could cause unwanted stress during my wedding day?

• Who would make me feel judged about my decision to elope?

• And who am I inviting just because I feel obligated to?

– and cross those guests off your list.

At the end of the day, remember that it’s YOUR wedding and not anyone else’s. Now that you have your guest list narrowed down, keep reading for some ways you can include others.

2. Ways to Include Others

1. Live stream your ceremony over zoom: This is a great option for couples with family out of state or overseas that can’t make it to the wedding! Most videographers will have the knowledge and gear needed to set up a live stream.

2. Host a post-elopement party: In my experience, this is the most popular decision for couples! This option allows you to plan a wedding day based on what you truly want, and invite your family and friends to celebrate with you later that day, or another day. If you hire a videographer, you can plan to show the video at your gathering to show everyone the amazing day you had!

3. Ask your close friends and/or family to write you a letter: This is a great option if you’d prefer to elope just the two of you! If that feels right to you, but you still want to include the people you’re closest to, ask them to write you a letter to read during your elopement day. This is a great way to include others in an intentional way.

4. FaceTime/Skype loved ones before your ceremony or from your elopement location.

3. Planning your Day when Eloping with Family

Eloping with family or friends adds a few extra things to consider during the planning process:

1. Guest Limits: Make sure you choose a location that allows additional guests. If your location requires a permit, they will likely have a guest limit. For example, the general rule for the Blue Ridge Parkway is 25 guests maximum, but there are a few exceptions for spots that cannot accommodate that many guests. The Pisgah National Forest does not require a permit for any event of less than 75 guests. Once you’ve confirmed that you are within the guest limit, make sure the area you plan on using for your ceremony has enough space for your guests to comfortably watch from.
2. Accessibility: If you have older guests, or guests who cannot hike long distances, make sure to do thorough research on the length and difficulty of the trail you choose. AllTrails is a great resource for this! And if possible, I always recommend checking out locations in person before the big day.
3. Preparing Your Guests: Make sure your guests are fully aware of the type of wedding you’re having! Most people have only ever been to traditional weddings, where they needed a nice dress with heels or suit with dress shoes. If you’re going to be in the mountains, make sure everyone is prepared with the proper footwear, weather-related items (raincoat/ponchos, umbrellas, warm layers & hand warmers if there’s a chance it could be cold), first aid, snacks and water!
4. Include time in your day for just the two of you: Don’t forget to schedule some time alone with your partner if you’re eloping with family. A lot of couples will incorporate time together by doing a first look, reading private vows, or going on their own adventure for some epic portraits. I also suggest incorporating something you love to do together on your elopement day! For example, if you’re both coffee-lovers, you could take some time the morning of your elopement to grab coffee at your favorite spot. If you both love kayaking, you could schedule time in your day to kayak together. If you had a free weekend together with no obligations, what would you do?

If you’re dreaming of eloping with family and/or your closest friends, I would absolutely love to help you plan the perfect elopement day! I help couples plan a more intentional wedding day by providing them with the resources and help they need to bring their dream day to life. If you’re ready to start planning your elopement, click here for more information!!